Time Flies

I can't believe we're half way through the year already. I'm actually in shock that I'm back to wearing my most comfy winter clothes and snuggling up of a night time... I'm even more at shock at the fact that I turn 20 this year which scares the living daylights out of me... The reason I've been feeling so old recently is that my brother had a baby on the 28th of April, my brother, the guy that I think of being just turned 18 driving his car, fetching me from school and teasing me that I still had another 10 years of school left... That brother, my only brother, had a baby, is happily married and is turning 30 this year. It scares the living daylights out of me. I'm getting old, but he's always going to be those 10 years older than me, even though he still acts like the 18 year old that I think of, he'll always be 10 years older than me...

Age is a funny thing, like I said when I started blogging again... I started this blog in 2007, of which the majority of my blogs have been deleted and luckily - no one ever read it because it was so embarassing! I was back then such a loser... I know I am still a loser, but 2 years ago I was way off the loser scale, I was a monster. I am still a monster but I think I'm a much better behaved monster than I was then... Or possibly, I'm a even worse monster now, but I just don't see it. Wow, I'm confusing myself. I must shut up now.

I'm turning 20... have I achieved what I wanted to by now, 5 years ago? Nope, probably not but I must say that I do think I have a achieved a lot, but I know I could of achieved more. This year, I have a lot of things left to achieve, and I will. I started my DM course in 2008 in Feb, and I will finish it this year, even though now the majority of my diving is going to be through the winter... it'll make me stronger in the long run. I need to start training for my swims because I know I am currently so unfit its a joke! I also need to start diving again... I have a love for it, I definately do, just gotta grin and bear the annoyingness that comes with the training part. I'll do it. I'm writing it here on this blog for the world to see that I will do it, I don't care how hard, or how much blood, sweat and tears I shed, I'll really appreciate it in the long run.

My last exam is tomorrow. I've really struggled to study this week, I can think of a million more things more interesting than studying to do but as my Brett told me earlier I need to prioritise what is important. I tried, but I've possibly only done about 45mins studying the whole of today. I write early morning, so unfortunately will have to do at least an hour before bed and READ my textbook in the parking lot tomorrow when I arrive early. I can do it. I will do. I know I can. I must!

And in saying that, I should stop blogging, get off the net (which I will probably only do once I get the will power to switch my laptop off) but I should stop procrastinating, wasting time and my youth ;) and try do some more studying!

Peace, love & cupcakes!
xo
Flea